Fighting Forgiveness
4 years ago
Friday, September 30, 2011
Just Relaxing
My baby is a week old! When she stretches out and squirms around, I can't help but be amazed that last week, she was inside me (kicking). She loves to cuddle and to play. Zach helps Ellie do her "exercises" every evening which she tolerates. Yesterday, she even found her tongue! Now if only she'd figure out that night is for sleeping and day is for playing...
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Baby Ellie at 5 Days Old
Ellie is finally eating (and eating and eating and eating). She slept really well last night too - she woke every 1.5/2 hours to feed but she hardly fussed at all. She was so happy (and hungry) today and we're starting to work out our own routine as a family. Zach's going back to work tomorrow, so we'll see how Ellie and I hold up on our own...
Sunday, September 25, 2011
A Baby Story!
While Noelle is snoozing away, I can't help but take a minute to record how she can into our lives a few days ago. I feel like if I don't write everything down, I'm going to forget all the special little things that brought us so much joy (and pain).
First of all, when Zach and I moved to Canada, we each picked a day that we thought Noelle would be born. Her first due date was Sept 16th, but was measuring too small so her due date got moved back to October 6th. While Zach chose Sept 27th as his day, I chose Sept 22nd as mine (two weeks early). And lo and behold, Ellie is such a Momma's girl, my water broke Sept 21st at 9:30pm. So, in short, I won the bet, but I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.
On Wednesday, Zach and I set up our new bed in our new suite. We were feeling pretty good because while the suite still isn't quite finished, it was at least liveable with a bed in it! Just as we were setting some things up, I told Zach that I thought my water broke and as I continued to leak amniotic fluid everywhere, I became more and more sure. I wasn't having any contractions at all though. Because of family history of really fast labor, we decided that we should just head to the hospital to be safe.
We got there at around 10:00, it was pouring rain and of course we forgot our coats (and Zach forgot change for parking and the phone charger...). I got checked and was 2cm dilated (boo!) and after a bit, they sent us home.
We went to bed and at 2:20am I woke up with contractions. We started timing them and by 4am they were coming consistently every 3 min - so we grabbed our coats and headed back to the hospital.
At the hospital I was now 3cm dilated so they admitted me because of that and because my water had already ruptured. Everything was going well until it just wasn't anymore! Contractions slowed right down and I had to walk the halls to get them going. I was frustrated and so tired. I was so happy when at 11:00am we got sent home again because it meant I could take a nap and not stress about getting the baby out.
At around 3:00pm I began to feel what a "real" contraction feels like (it hurts!). By 4:30, I was in tears with each one so we got ushered off by my Mum to the hospital again. (we forgot our coats again...) This time, I was 5cm with painful contractions every 3 minutes.
I was not a stalwart happy camper at all. I was in pain and nauseous and really really uncomfortable. After awhile, I was started on Fentinol (a narcotic) which was supposed to "take the edge off contractions" (yah right). The nurses had to try three times to get the IV in so the drug could be administered and then it only made a difference during the first contraction immediately afterwards. The next nurse later told me that the drug doesn't really prevent the pain anyways. Gee, thanks! Finally, I was in so much pain, I begged for the epidural, hoping for some kind of relief. But I was already fully dilated and ready to push! (after 3 hours in the hospital).
All of a sudden, I was surrounded by nurses and tables for the baby and my doctor was there and I was pushing. Which wasn't super fun either. Because of the drug, I kept telling them that I couldn't do it and that they had to get the baby out NOW! After nearly an hour and the baby started to crown, it hurt so badly, I changed my mind and told them just to put her back in because really, it hurt much less with her in than with her half in and half out!
At 9:05 after the most intense pain of my life, Noelle really did pop out (I always got mad at Zach for saying she would "pop" out like it was so easy...). She was so small that after her head, her shoulders and body just slid right out. She was perfect and beautiful and precious and ours!
Despite Zach's reluctance, Dr. Wilson got him to cut the cord (which he says looked like the Elder Wand! haha...) and we waited for the afterbirth. I felt so much joy and relief and love. It was beautiful.
The nurses weighed Noelle at 5lbs 11oz, and 18in long. She was bright red and healthy and just perfect. Meanwhile, we waited and waited and waited for the placenta to deliver. I only pushed with Noelle for an hour and after longer than that waiting for the placenta to come out, my doctor decided to try to manually pull it out (which, after having just pushed a baby out was NOT super fun or comfortable at all). It hurt like contractions all over again. And... it didn't work! She could get the placenta to disengage from the uterus so a specialist had to come in and then he tried to pull it out too (also felt great! only NOT!). He couldn't get it either so I had to go to the OR to have them put me under and then get it out and stitch up my tears. I don't remember a lot after that until the next morning when I woke up with Zach sleeping on the floor next to me and a baby at the foot of my bed!
It's so surreal that she's really ours and that we are responsible for taking care of her and teaching her and loving her and being her parents. We went home yesterday with our sweet baby Ellie and she's doing just great. She's learning to nurse and to do what babies do. We love her so much and are so excited to get to know her and to have her as part of our family forever!
First of all, when Zach and I moved to Canada, we each picked a day that we thought Noelle would be born. Her first due date was Sept 16th, but was measuring too small so her due date got moved back to October 6th. While Zach chose Sept 27th as his day, I chose Sept 22nd as mine (two weeks early). And lo and behold, Ellie is such a Momma's girl, my water broke Sept 21st at 9:30pm. So, in short, I won the bet, but I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.
On Wednesday, Zach and I set up our new bed in our new suite. We were feeling pretty good because while the suite still isn't quite finished, it was at least liveable with a bed in it! Just as we were setting some things up, I told Zach that I thought my water broke and as I continued to leak amniotic fluid everywhere, I became more and more sure. I wasn't having any contractions at all though. Because of family history of really fast labor, we decided that we should just head to the hospital to be safe.
We got there at around 10:00, it was pouring rain and of course we forgot our coats (and Zach forgot change for parking and the phone charger...). I got checked and was 2cm dilated (boo!) and after a bit, they sent us home.
We went to bed and at 2:20am I woke up with contractions. We started timing them and by 4am they were coming consistently every 3 min - so we grabbed our coats and headed back to the hospital.
At the hospital I was now 3cm dilated so they admitted me because of that and because my water had already ruptured. Everything was going well until it just wasn't anymore! Contractions slowed right down and I had to walk the halls to get them going. I was frustrated and so tired. I was so happy when at 11:00am we got sent home again because it meant I could take a nap and not stress about getting the baby out.
At around 3:00pm I began to feel what a "real" contraction feels like (it hurts!). By 4:30, I was in tears with each one so we got ushered off by my Mum to the hospital again. (we forgot our coats again...) This time, I was 5cm with painful contractions every 3 minutes.
I was not a stalwart happy camper at all. I was in pain and nauseous and really really uncomfortable. After awhile, I was started on Fentinol (a narcotic) which was supposed to "take the edge off contractions" (yah right). The nurses had to try three times to get the IV in so the drug could be administered and then it only made a difference during the first contraction immediately afterwards. The next nurse later told me that the drug doesn't really prevent the pain anyways. Gee, thanks! Finally, I was in so much pain, I begged for the epidural, hoping for some kind of relief. But I was already fully dilated and ready to push! (after 3 hours in the hospital).
All of a sudden, I was surrounded by nurses and tables for the baby and my doctor was there and I was pushing. Which wasn't super fun either. Because of the drug, I kept telling them that I couldn't do it and that they had to get the baby out NOW! After nearly an hour and the baby started to crown, it hurt so badly, I changed my mind and told them just to put her back in because really, it hurt much less with her in than with her half in and half out!
At 9:05 after the most intense pain of my life, Noelle really did pop out (I always got mad at Zach for saying she would "pop" out like it was so easy...). She was so small that after her head, her shoulders and body just slid right out. She was perfect and beautiful and precious and ours!
Despite Zach's reluctance, Dr. Wilson got him to cut the cord (which he says looked like the Elder Wand! haha...) and we waited for the afterbirth. I felt so much joy and relief and love. It was beautiful.
The nurses weighed Noelle at 5lbs 11oz, and 18in long. She was bright red and healthy and just perfect. Meanwhile, we waited and waited and waited for the placenta to deliver. I only pushed with Noelle for an hour and after longer than that waiting for the placenta to come out, my doctor decided to try to manually pull it out (which, after having just pushed a baby out was NOT super fun or comfortable at all). It hurt like contractions all over again. And... it didn't work! She could get the placenta to disengage from the uterus so a specialist had to come in and then he tried to pull it out too (also felt great! only NOT!). He couldn't get it either so I had to go to the OR to have them put me under and then get it out and stitch up my tears. I don't remember a lot after that until the next morning when I woke up with Zach sleeping on the floor next to me and a baby at the foot of my bed!
It's so surreal that she's really ours and that we are responsible for taking care of her and teaching her and loving her and being her parents. We went home yesterday with our sweet baby Ellie and she's doing just great. She's learning to nurse and to do what babies do. We love her so much and are so excited to get to know her and to have her as part of our family forever!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Almost There...
While most of our apartment still looks like this:
And this:
The baby's room is finally ALMOST DONE! It's a good thing she decided to measure small and have her due date pushed back three weeks otherwise we wouldn't have made it. We still need to put up shelves in the trees and a few other little things, but it's really and truly ALMOST DONE! (Can you tell that we're excited to almost be done moving and building and fixing and unpacking after nearly 3 months??)
Zach refinished the glider for me and I made new cushions for it. He also made all the shelving in the closet. I made the curtains and the bedding and the changing pad cover. I made the poms above the crib and our good friend Chelsey Hancock made the adorable button "N" above the bookcases. I still have a few more pictures to get up too...
Closet:
We're really excited to get the apartment all finished and have our own place (obviously) but we're even more excited to welcome Baby Ellie home in a few more weeks and to be able to spend time together as a family.
And this:
The baby's room is finally ALMOST DONE! It's a good thing she decided to measure small and have her due date pushed back three weeks otherwise we wouldn't have made it. We still need to put up shelves in the trees and a few other little things, but it's really and truly ALMOST DONE! (Can you tell that we're excited to almost be done moving and building and fixing and unpacking after nearly 3 months??)
Zach refinished the glider for me and I made new cushions for it. He also made all the shelving in the closet. I made the curtains and the bedding and the changing pad cover. I made the poms above the crib and our good friend Chelsey Hancock made the adorable button "N" above the bookcases. I still have a few more pictures to get up too...
Closet:
We're really excited to get the apartment all finished and have our own place (obviously) but we're even more excited to welcome Baby Ellie home in a few more weeks and to be able to spend time together as a family.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Welcome September
When Zach and I decided to move to Canada, we decided that it was the very best thing for our family while ignoring one very large stipulation: we wouldn't have any health insurance until September 1st. And when you expecting a baby sometime in late September/ early October, that's kind of a big stipulation just to ignore. But it's September today, and I am officially health insured again! Yipee! If fact, not having insurance these past two months has really helped me to be super patient about having this baby. I know a lot of people get really anxious towards the end of their pregnancies, but as of right now, I'm feeling really content waiting some more... Maybe that has to do with the fact that the suite isn't quite finished yet though.... I am excited to go to the doctor tomorrow because I haven't been in a month!! Hopefully all goes well and baby's measuring good and happy!
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