On the Hunt for the Elusive Smile

Noelle has been smiling a lot lately, and we've been on a quest to capture it photographically.

And, as you can see, we've been failing. I think she's teasing us.

Two things I've learnt this week

1. You cannot light a match on sandpaper. Pinterest, you failed me.

2. You can shred chicken quickly and effectively in a kitchenaid. Pinterest, you've redeemed yourself.

The Best Laid Plans

When pregnant, many women feel the need to create a birth plan - to put their preferences down on paper and make sure everyone is fully aware of them. I never made a birth plan because I figured that we would just play it by ear. Well, I never wrote one down. Naturally, I just wanted to do whatever was best for Ellie without getting stressed if her plan didn't coincide with my carefully laid plan. But I did have ideas. I didn't want drugs, I didn't want to throw up, I didn't want to feel like I was dying, I didn't want a c-section. I wanted a healthy baby. As it turns out, Ellie came into the world just as I would have had her do, unmedicated, relatively quickly, and completely healthy.

Fast forward a few weeks. Now I have no plan, not because I'm trying to play it by ear, but because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing! Ha! As a new mum, I feel like I'm the infant who is brand new to this world and doesn't know a thing, scrambling to find out that one elusive thing that will please and satisfy my baby. And no matter what it is, I'll do it. But still, I have ideas of what this should all be like; ideas about what should work and how things should go. Ellie is 7 weeks old today, and things have not gone according to my [non] plans at all.

At around 4 or 5 weeks old, my quiet sleepy baby decided to cry. And I mean cry. Now, it's not like she was going for 5 hours straight or anything, but it felt like if she was awake, she was screaming. It's was enough to make you want to cry/ actually cry your eyes out.

In my heart of hearts, I thought that Formula was bad and that I would be a bad mum for giving my baby formula... but here's the secret: hungry baby does NOT equal happy baby. As the past few days have testified to Zach and me, Noelle was screaming non-stop because she just wasn't getting enough to eat (despite 2-3 hour long nursing sessions) or enough sleep (because she was hungry).

As we caved and started to supplement breast milk with formula, Noelle has been sleeping much better and screaming much less. I guess giving formula to your baby isn't nearly as bad as letting her starve after all. ;) [although, fair warning, the poop is much stinkier]

The point is, I'm not going to feel bad about it. My baby is growing, she's developing, and she's happy [at least sometimes now] so I'm beginning to learn that despite my plans [and all the advice in the world] I'm going to do what works for my baby. I'm going to do what's best for her because I love her and because I am her parent and she relies on me in a way that no one else ever will [what a scaring thought...]

And, just so you can see how big my baby is getting:

Getting Ready for Winter